Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year

Like many people out there, I harbor some decidedly negative feelings toward 2007. I hate 2007 for being the year I miscarried my first child. I hate 2007 for showing me how much life can suck and how little control I have over my own fate. And I hate 2007 for being the year in which I forgot how to live a full and complete life in the face of depression and disappointment.

The reality, though, is that 2007 wasn't all bad. I attended 7 weddings of people I care about and got to share in their joyful celebration. I spent a lot of time with good friends and got to know some better. I even made new friends, both IRL and online. I got my first (and second) significant haircut in more than 20 years. I got to see the Pats win in last year's playoffs, plus I saw them beat the Chargers and the Steelers this season (and got to see them get to 16-0 on TV). And I got to see the Sox win the World Series for the second time in four years (on TV, of course). I got to work on some really challenging assignments at work and develop new skills. And I received excellent performance evaluations, evaluations I wasn't even sure I deserved. Finally, P and I got to where we finally felt emotionally and financially ready to start a family, even if that didn't all go as planned. And having that not go as planned reaffirmed for me that our relationship is strong enough to endure some real crap. And that's just a sampling of the good stuff.

So I'm definitely looking forward to 2008 but not because I think it will be entirely different from 2007. Rather, I look forward to getting back the good things from 2007. I also look forward to really bouncing back from September -- I'm not likely to get any good performance evaluations any time soon and haven't developed many new skills lately so I really need to refocus at work. And while I hope to get pregnant and stay pregnant this year, I have learned that life doesn't always go the way you plan, so I look forward to living a full and complete life regardless of what happens on that front.

Welcome 2008 -- I look forward to seeing what you have in store.

2 comments:

Jen said...

A very good post for me to read right now. I have been feeling badly about 2007 for the same reasons as you. But I do have a lot of good to look at too. Thanks.

And may 2008 only hold good for you.

Katie said...

I am so glad that your outlook is still positive. This year was hard on you and you still remain upbeat. I think that will help you in the long run.

I hope that there is only good in the New Year for you and that you never know the pain of miscarriage again.