In the beginning: July, TTC

My period started July 8, which I only know because of the number of times I was later asked the LMP question, including three times in the same office on the day we went in to find out for sure the baby had died -- you'd think they could keep track of such things. We joined my family on their vacation the following weekend (I couldn't take any more time off) and had our first condom-free sex since I went off the Pill in a king bed that was really 2 twins pushed together. It felt very illicit. And rather terrifying. It was one thing to talk about being ready and another thing to take actual action.

We figured if we had sex every day for at least ten days, we at least wouldn't miss the egg completely. If a few months went by with no pregnancy, we'd try to figure out the whole charting thing. We missed two nights, I think, out of the next fourteen. I was working late almost every night, but made it a point to always be home before P went to bed, even if I would have to go downstairs and do more work afterwards. We had a couple of quickies on nights we were both too tired for anything better, but I was at work until 5 or 6 am one of the two nights and we were both too exhausted even for a quickie on another. We figured we had maximized our chances.

I had a huge case heading for trial, which thankfully kept me from obsessing too much during the 2ww. I was on conference calls, writing jury instructions, and preparing our final pre-trial submission rather than making lists of real and imaginary pregnancy symptoms. That time actually passed surprisingly quickly, aided by the exhaustion that came from the rabid babymaking. A couple of days before my period was due, I started burping -- constantly. For some reason, I took that as a sign and decided I was pregnant.

I had an appointment with my PCP for my annual on Monday the 6th, which was going to be CD30, and maybe 15dpo, so my plan was to wait until then to find out if we had been successful. P had other plans, though, and bought two of the expensive digital early response tests, and I couldn't hold out. On the 4th, I peed on one of the sticks while P waited outside the door. In well under a minute, it said PREGNANT. I wish I had taken a picture, because sometimes it doesn't even seem real anymore, almost like I was never pregnant at all.