5w4d

It occurred to me today that a major part of me had never really considered that this would progress any further than last time. In my mind, since August, this and any pregnancy I might have never actually got past 9w5d. I never imagined feeling movement. I never imagined myself being visibly pregnant. I never imagined actually giving birth. I might have been able to talk about those things as if I believed them, but they weren't part of my mental picture. It all seems so far away and wholly foreign.