Thursday, January 17, 2008

5w4d

It occurred to me today that a major part of me had never really considered that this would progress any further than last time. In my mind, since August, this and any pregnancy I might have never actually got past 9w5d. I never imagined feeling movement. I never imagined myself being visibly pregnant. I never imagined actually giving birth. I might have been able to talk about those things as if I believed them, but they weren't part of my mental picture. It all seems so far away and wholly foreign.

3 comments:

Jen said...

I know how you feel. I feel the same way a lot of the time.

Future Mommy said...

Oh, sweetie. I know exactly what you mean...every time another cycle rolls around for us, I'm left wondering that IF we do get pregnant that cycle, will it all be for naught if it just craps out again...but then I remind myself - as I'm about to tell you - that despite any history and any previous issues, EVERY SINGLE PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT. I know you know that, and I know I know that, but getting from knowing to believing is such a hard leap sometimes, isn't it?

Hang in there, girl.

sushilover said...

I love what future mommy just said...I'm taking it to heart as well. I was just thinking the same thing as you said in your post, today in the dr.'s office. Weird how it's just such a foreign thing. Keep thinking positive thoughts!!!! I know harder said than done.