Tuesday, October 30, 2007

My Falling Out With Reason

I kinda wanted to say screw the doctor's recommendation to wait and instead start trying again this month, but P is scared of getting yelled at by our OB. (Also, we both don't want to cancel our participation in what was supposed to be (unbeknownst to my family when it was scheduled) a show-the-baby-off family vacation in July, even though there will now be no baby to show off, and we would most definitely have to if we were successful this month since the vacation would start on what would be my due date.) Now I find myself telling P that we might as well not bother with birth control from hereonout since I'm 4DPO, according to my chart at Fertility Friend, and we would both rather go without. On some level, though, I think I am secretly hoping that there is still some non-degenerated, fertilizable egg kicking around in there that will somehow be fertilized and turn into our miracle baby. I think I am completely losing my grasp on the rational world.

5 comments:

Amanda said...

From my personal experience (and from what I've read) there is nothing emotionally rational about TTC. We want what we want, and that's all there is to it. We also all have our secret hopes that the unplanned will happen. And who knows, sometimes it does happen! <3

Sara said...

Welcome to Crazytown, population me and you and lots of other women who are TTC after loss. It's kind of freeing, in a way, to just accept our insanity for a while, no?

Sherry said...

Hey

Stopped in to say welcome to blog-land. Read about you over at Mel's (Stirrup Queens).

Do let me know if you ever figure out a way to hold on to that rational world all the time - I'd love to know the secret!

I wish you much luck and happiness on the next part of your TTC journey!

Manda said...

It's totally a normal impulse to immediately want to try and "fix" the miscarriage that happened. I've so been there. I found that I was glad we waited "one more month" to start TTC (we're not pregnant yet as far as I know) because then I knew that it wasn't a moment of craziness. That's just me, though.
I agree with Sara, welcome to Crazytown. :)

K @ ourboxofrain said...

thanks, everyone, for your warm welcomes to crazytown. i'm sure i'll be seeing you around :)