Thursday, February 14, 2008

Telling people

Even though it makes me terrified that we're jinxing things, we started the telling people process. We told my MIL last night -- she got to be first. We tried to be cute about it, and it didn't really feel like us, but we did it anyway. We told her we'd gotten her a Valentine's Day present. We got her a congrats on your new grandchild card but put it in a Valentine's Day envelope so she wouldn't know what it was. We got a I Love My Grandma frame and put a picture from the u/s in it.

She cried. Then she got out all her childbirth materials (she was a labor and delivery nurse and also taught childbirth classes, as well as breastfeeding, infant CPR, etc.) and scared the crap out of me. And then she told me she had a box of baby clothes she had accumulated over the years to give us. (That was actually surprising -- she's really not the type to stockpile things for future grandchildren. Apparently she was egged on by my SIL, who thought her mother should be accumulating things for her own future children and for ours.) We talked about the miscarriage too, and it felt good to be able to talk about it with family. It's felt like a really shitty secret that we've been carrying around for months. All in all, it went well.

P only has one parent, whereas I have three. So one down, three to go, but it's sort of like we're half done. We'll tell my moms this weekend -- we'll do it the same way, but are trying to find a way to make an S to add to the frame, since they don't sell lesbian-themed grandma frames, it turns out. My dad is on vacation, so we're still trying to figure out when to tell him. He's the one I'm most nervous about. I'm a bit of a daddy's girl, and even though I'm 30, married, a lawyer, and own my own house, I think he still thinks I'm too young to have kids.


Meghan said...

Glad it went well telling your MIL.

And have you tried any of those websites were you can custom make frames and things like that? Might help you find something for your moms

Ms. Infertile said...

It must be somewhat of a relief to begin telling people. I know for myself secret keeping is HARD. Glad it went well telling your MIL. And, I'll email you in the next few days about that question you had regarding our not doing any screening.

Katie said...

How exciting that you are able to start telling people! Makes it seem a bit more real, doesn't it?

That's the only thing about IVF that has kind of taken the fun out of pregnancy - a lot of people already know. Sure, we can tell the periphreal people in our lives in a couple of weeks, but most everyone who knows us well, already knows.

Future Mommy said...

Scratch the lawyer part and subtract a couple years and you have mother had the nerve to tell me last year when I miscarried that I was too young to have kids anyways. Um, Mom? Out of college 5+ years, good job, great husband, own my own house...exactly what do I need to do to convince you I'm old enough?

Glad that it went well with your MIL - hope it goes well with your other parents, too!

You know, you could go to Things Remembered and they could do a personalized frame for you! I heart that store...I get all sorts of stuff there...I really think they should employ me to do their PR, because I LOVE THEM! :-)