3 Things to Worry Less About

We got the results back from our serial-sequential screening* last week:

Pre-testing, our risk of a neural tube defect was 1:900. Now it's 1:10000.
Pre-testing, our risk of Down Syndrome based on my age was 1:660. Now it's 1:3900.
Pre-testing, our risk of Trisomy 18 based on my age was 1:2600. Now it's 1:8600.

Of course, it's a screening, not a diagnostic test, so, as noted in the subject, all it really does is decrease the amount of worry about the aforementioned conditions. But decreased worry is something, no? Said worry would be further decreased if it were accompanied by some actual sensations of fetal movement. I heard the heartbeat a few days ago (thank God for the doppler) but find the lack of any clear** movement disconcerting. I keep having visions of some video or movie I saw years ago that scared the crap out of me, which P is sure, based on my vague description, is the video for Metallica's One, but the video didn't really look like what I was remembering, so I'm not convinced that was what I was thinking of, but it's been a while so it might have been. Regardless, I'm scared that the baby has no arms/legs or is paralyzed in utero or is just a vessel containing a beating heart (even though at 12 weeks we saw arms and stumps that we were told were legs and the baby did something that P still describes as sit-ups).

The Level II ultrasound is Monday (five more sleeps). The reality is that the closer we get to any appointment, the more paranoid I start to get, I think steeling myself for any potential bad news.

Monday is also the day after my original due date. I wish I could go to bed on Saturday and wake up Monday (or perhaps several months from now if the ultrasound doesn't go well), but that doesn't seem likely. Plus, I am having breakfast with the new minister at church on Sunday, then ushering at the 10am, so sleeping through the day would be a bit, well, rude. I ushered the Sunday that was 2 days after the D&E in September and cried silently through much of the service. I'm hoping I will get through Sunday in a more composed state, but I'm not holding my breath. Any prayers and/or positive thoughts heading into Sunday and Monday would be much appreciated.

* NT+1st trimester bloodwork+2nd trimester bloodwork with results only after all have been analyzed and integrated -- apprently it's newer, and not available everywhere, and more accurate than any of its constituent parts

** I feel things periodically that could be movement but they're extremely inconsistent (and infrequent) and could just as easily be minor spasms in or around my bladder.