I had the distinct pleasure last night of overhearing my father's fiancee informing someone I don't know (over the phone) that I look huge and she doubts I'll make it to their wedding in three and a half weeks. This left me incredibly pissed off.
First, I don't think I look particularly huge. My fundal height measurements have been on target each week, and my weight gain (23 pounds) has been perfectly within reason, according to my doctor. People still tell me I don't look pregnant from behind. I don't waddle. I can still, for the most part, do the things I used to do, though I do get tired more quickly. How many pregnant people has she been around lately? Her son lives a plane ride away, so I doubt she saw her daughter-in-law during the late stages of her pregnancy (and I know she wasn't there for the birth since she and my dad decided the week her first grandchild was due was a good time to go to Europe, which I would have found incredibly insulting had it been me who gave birth at the time).
Second, and more importantly since I would feel the same way even were I currently huge (which, perhaps, I am), I don't really get why being pregnant somehow makes it acceptable to discuss my size with complete strangers. Were I not pregnant, it would be considered incredibly rude to discuss that topic. I was half inclined to discuss with people while she was within earshot the fact that she walks like an elderly person for no medical reason and that I wonder whether she'll be able to walk down the aisle at her wedding, but, well, I'm not a bitch. She also touched me without permission, which makes me very uncomfortable. PREGNANT PEOPLE ARE NOT PUBLIC PROPERTY!!! No touching and no public commentary, PLEASE.
Am I being overly sensitive? I normally really like this woman but I'm really having trouble getting past this one.
Oh, I added last week's belly shot, so you can judge my current size for yourself. It was at 31w4d, I think.
Lest anyone think I disappeared, we are on vacation for a couple of weeks. Internet access is spotty for now and will be nonexistent next week.
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A box of rain will ease the pain And love will see you through
About Me
- K @ ourboxofrain
- Greater Boston Area, MA, United States
- P and I got married in the summer of 2005, three years after we got engaged. We started trying to conceive two years later and were incredibly lucky to succeed on the first try. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be, as there was something wrong with the baby's heart and it stopped beating. Miscarriage is super common, but we were still shocked it happened to us. This is our story -- a story of loss, trying again, and life in general.
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14 comments:
I think you look great for how pregnant you are and I wouldn't have put you at much more then say maybe 28 weeks.
Your dad's fiancee was pretty much very out of line, on both the touching and the comments!
Okay, I looked at the belly shot and she is crazy. You look great. She doesn't know what she is talking about.
I hate the public property thing about being pregnant. It is extremely annoying. People are so rude.
Despite the fact that you're NOT huge, you might need to get this shirt:
http://shop.cafepress.com/design/19527481
I agree, pregnant people are not public property. I had one of the secretaries in our schools front office ask me in front of everyone (parents and other teachers) if my boobs had gotten heavy and leaky yet...wtf??
so I'm with you, she was way out of line
I was at a party once, holding someone else's newborn, and a woman I'd met only once yelled to me, across a crowded room, to ask me if I was breastfeeding or using a bottle. People just lose all sense of decorum when it comes to pregnancy and new moms.
My own husband, upon returning from a (short) business trip, looked me up and down and said, "You're HUGE!" As I told him, "Gee, thanks. I never get tired of hearing that." I'm at 33 weeks, I've gained 21 lbs, so yeah, not feeling like I'm deserving of the size comments....
You're not huge at all - you're the perfect size. What a witch!
You should sexy it up for her wedding. Get a nice dress (try Bebe - I found a super sexy/flowy dress there for a wedding when I was 9 months pregnant), go get a blow-out, mani/pedi and out shine the bride!!!!
Go get 'em sister!
I don't know what she's talking about. You look like a perfectly healthy pregnant lady to me (note no mention of big/small-why can't people learn that?? I get it all the time, and it's annoying),
J
Oh, K, I think you look great! That woman is crazy! People can be really rude.
I alternate between getting the huge comments, and the "well, you don't look that big for carrying twins" comments - which surprisingly both upset me.
People should just keep all size comments to themselves.
That is ridiculous. You look awesome-Tell her to shove it.
Oh, lord. The woman should see me - I think my stomach looks the same size in my 26w photo as yours does at 32. How rude to call you huge and speculate about your condition on the phone with someone random. I'd be pissed too.
Just because your hormones are raging doesn't mean there aren't jerks in the world!
Huge? Is she crazy? You look perfectly normal to me...if not on the petite side.
Niiiice.
I think a book of etiquette would be a lovely wedding gift for Ms. Raised-In-A-Barn.
You look awesome! I would hate to hear what she has to say about me if she thinks you are huge!
I completely agree about the public property problem. I have always been uncomfortable with people touching me, pregnancy has just intensified that hatred. :)
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