Monday, June 7, 2010

Post-Partum Thoughts

A few thoughts on these early days with a second child:
  • Despite leaving the hospital a day earlier, I was given a shorter course of pain meds. So I'll run out of percocet at six/seven days post-partum, whereas I still had some left when I stopped taking it at seven or eight days post-partum last time. I hope the pain by the inner right side of my pelvic bone has subsided by then, because it's pretty fierce now.
  • Josie will only sleep on me. (She falls asleep, I put her down, and she wakes up within minutes of being put down and cries inconsolably.) I'm sure this will pass, and I like the snuggle time, but I'm not comfortable with co-sleeping (not in a judgmental/I-care-what-others-do way but in a I-know-it's-not-for-me way), so sleep is generally gotten while sitting up in a chair right now. Needless to say, I'm tired.
  • I miss Harry. I miss picking him up. I miss reading to him at bedtime (the only seat in his room is too high for me to get safely on and off right now). I miss actively playing with him. I miss him. Yesterday I cried a little when we snuggled while reading books and watching "mi mi mi" on my laptop in the living room. I know that a sibling is a great gift to him as well as to our family, but I already miss having special time with him, which is hard right now, post-c-section. It saddens me that he'll never remember the time when it was just the three of us, time that was so wonderful and amazing for me. My hormones are definitely readjusting right now, and I'm finding this aspect of parenthood to be incredibly difficult this time around.
  • On the flip side, I love that he calls Josie "Baby sister" (or Josie) and wants to give her a kiss all the time. And point out her body parts. I hope they develop a special relationship as they get older.


Meghan said...

I'm sure it's all my hormones and the fact that I'll soon be in your shoes but man, that third bullet about Harry made me sob. I know you all will eventually find your groove but until then it must be so hard on you.

Yo-yo Mama said...

I have to admit I never even thought about whether or not my son would remember just the 3 of us, but I think it's bc my son is older. However, I realize that your point is so very valid.

I also remember those first few weeks when Aitch would only sleep when held and I really wanted my life before back and now? O What I wouldn't give for 24 more hours... I know it's hard. Especially post c-section, but it gets better. Everything will get better.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I had to call in for more pain medication and cry over the phone for my doctor to give it to me. Sigh.

I hope Josie starts sleeping alone soon. Elizabeth went a couple weeks like that, where she either slept in my arms in the chair or on my chest in bed. We swaddled her tightly and I think that eventually helped her sleep alone.

Nicky said...

I survived the early weeks with LL by holding him in a chair that reclined. I would adjust it to a point where I felt secure holding him but comfortable enough that I could sleep okay.

Your third bullet point made me cry a little, too. The cuddling part, anyway. I'm actually a little relieved that LL won't remember his time as an only child, since he's likely to harbor less sibling resentment that way? I hope? My older brother definitely remembers the time before me, and spent much of our childhood telling me how much better his life was before I came along. People I know who are closer in age argue for all sorts of reasons, but "it was better before" is never one of them, because they don't remember what that was like.

Mommy, Esq. said...

I wish I could empathize but my kids don't cuddle. They will sit in my lap but that's it. The hardest thing so far? Watching how they give Nanny April hugs and kisses and never give me or Husband any. Keep practicing the swaddle! Watch YouTube videos of techniques. Husband has his first away trip next week and THREE days the following week. I feel fine but my Josie likes to nurse during Ned and Penny's dinner and bathtime. Not sure what I'm going to do...

Danifred said...

I can totally relate to that missing the child feeling. Weeks after Bean was born I remember crying because I felt so disconnected with Tot. At that point, my husband and I agreed that every day I would carve out time just for Tot for both of our sakes. Now, she doesn't want me to even look at her, so I suppose we worked our way through it :)
Hang in there Momma!

Katie said...

I'm with Meghan, the point abut Harry made me really sad. My biggest fear is how much everything is going to change between Will and me. I look forward to seeing the GOOD changes that I am sure will come, but I know I will have a hard time letting go.

And about the pain meds, this is a bit late, but CALL YOUR OB if you need more. They will likely switch you to vicodin, but I actually prefer that for pain relief anyway, because it makes me less groggy and I just feel better on it. They won't make you go without, I promise.

Photogrl said...

Call you OB if you need more pain need to be comfortable to heal well.

Oh, the sleeping alone thing...I hope that swaddling will help and you can get at least a few more minutes of shuteye.

How sweet of Harry! I'm sure they will have a special relationship as the years go by.