Not the best day ever...

Ps grandmother passed away last night. Ps mom called yesterday to let us know that his grandma had developed pneumonia and that they were administering comfort measures only (after antibiotics failed) and didn't expect her to survive the weekend. We got the call this morning. In many ways, we lost her a few years ago -- she developed rapid-onset dementia in the months following Ps father's (her son) death, so this was more the death of her body than anything else.

Sadly, once she stopped knowing who we were, we stopped visiting her in the nursing home she moved to a few months after my FIL died. So we hadn't seen her for a couple of years even though she lived a few miles away. I feel awful about it, but it was important to P to preserve his memories of her as they were. And, with his family, it's important for me to do what is important to him. We went to the hospital to be with his mom and aunt yesterday but didn't go in the room to see his grandma. She was a great lady who I feel very fortunate to have gotten to know. She will be much missed, but, to be fair, she has been much missed for years now.

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On a completely unrelated note, my stepmother (my mom's wife) is being really petty right now and it has me really upset. She is angry that I forgot her birthday. I get it. I feel really bad. Things have been busy around here, but that's no real excuse. But today she refused to talk to me on the phone. And she seems to have decided not to come to Harry's baptism, which is taking place next weekend when the bishop visits my church. She says it's because I didn't tell her about it far enough in advance. First, that isn't true. I told them this past summer when my minister first mentioned the date. I still wasn't completely convinced we were really going to have a baby come All Saint's Sunday, but mentioned the baptism date to my mom and stepmom nonetheless. I mentioned it again the first time she saw Harry -- they came to visit a few minutes after the minister came to the hospital to bless him. I know I mentioned it, and P remembers it too. Second, what difference would it make? Had she known in advance, the conflicting event would still be taking place at the same time and she'd have to choose. If she remembered me telling her more in advance, she'd make a different choice, attending her grandson's baptism instead of her minister's final service at her church, but because she didn't have advance warning, she'll choose the final service? That doesn't make sense to me. Regardless of her reasons, I just don't get punishing Harry for my faults. Ugh. Why would anyone be so juvenile? Or am I being unreasonable?

In some ways, the saddest part is that all I can think about is what I can or should do to make up for forgetting her birthday. As P pointed out, people make mistakes, but most of us are adults about it and may feel hurt but don't act like children about it. But my guilt seems to be reigning supreme here.

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All in all, today hasn't been the best day ever. But it certainly hasn't been the worst.