Monday, June 23, 2008
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A box of rain will ease the pain And love will see you through
About Me
- K @ ourboxofrain
- Greater Boston Area, MA, United States
- P and I got married in the summer of 2005, three years after we got engaged. We started trying to conceive two years later and were incredibly lucky to succeed on the first try. Sadly, it wasn't meant to be, as there was something wrong with the baby's heart and it stopped beating. Miscarriage is super common, but we were still shocked it happened to us. This is our story -- a story of loss, trying again, and life in general.
Our Box of Rain?
Who Has An Eye On This Box of Rain
Self-Improvement
Some Blogs I Read
- A Brief History of "You"
- A Little Sweetness
- Baby Wait
- Child Bearing Hips
- dead baby jokes
- Dear Gherkin
- Doctor Grumbles I Presume
- Down That Dirt Road
- Elephant in the Room
- Grad Ovaries
- Here We Go Again
- Life After D & C
- Life in the South
- Missed Conceptions
- Mission: Impossible, or adventures in infertility, pregnancy...parenting?
- On the Wrong Side of Statistics
- Our Second Chance
- Punch Drunk
- Reproductively speaking...
- Serenity Now!
- Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
- Streaks on the China
- Stuff to Say
- Taking the Statistical Bullet
- The Infertile Long and Winding Road
- Vegetarian Mom
- Waiting in Line ... My turn yet?
Other Helpful Links
Labels
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- miscarriage (23)
- work (22)
- my crazy family (20)
- vacations (16)
- Letters to Harry (14)
- food (14)
- waiting (13)
- wordless wednesday (13)
- miscarriage news round-up (11)
- dog (9)
- holidays (9)
- other pregnant people (9)
- paranoia (9)
- things that overwhelm me (9)
- whining (8)
- belly shots (7)
- breastfeeding (7)
- 101 in 1001 (6)
- sleep (6)
- things that are f*cked (6)
- babies (5)
- fainting (5)
- milestones (5)
- things that are sad (5)
- early josie (4)
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9 comments:
I feel like I know I've learned from my OWN mistakes.. so I'm assuming that I'll take the lessons learned from my childhood and apply them to my parenting. But I guess it's more of a wait and see!
Just by asking that question, it is obvious that you won't make those mistakes. You are going to be an awesome parent!
Plus, you have all of us to keep you honest. :)
I definitely share your concerns. Although I love my mother, she is overbearing and her priorities are sometimes a little mixed up. I'm also scared of turning into her. However, our mere awareness of this will make us better parents. Awareness is key.
Though mostly for reasons outside their control, my parents, bless their hearts, did such a spectacularly bad job of raising me and my brother that, really, I don't think I could do worse if I tried.
I completely agree with what Jen said. You know how they say that the first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem? You've just begun the recovery process for all the generations to come in your family, simply by acknowledging that the way you were raised was not okay. I hardly know you, yet I have faith you will be an excellent mother.
I completely agree with Jen too. I actually think of one prime example in my life...my mother's smoking. She started offering cigarettes to me to smoke when I was just 12. Besides the point that this was completely irresponsible as a parent, I never touched one and felt better for it. And still til this day both my brother and I have never smoked a cigarette. I think it's because we saw how addictive and disgusting it makes a person who has been smoking all her life.
But my point is, just from her outlandish behavior I have learned a lesson rather than following in her footsteps. Sometimes the more the outrageous behavior, the more you'll be inclined to remember it and be cautious not to mimick it.
The fact that you recognize their mistakes. Do I think I'm going to be a perfect parent? No, but I do know that my son will not hear comments about "crying like a girl" or "insert negetive racial/sexual stereotype here" from my mouth.
I've been told that I'm being ridiculous but I will not have my child exposed to such intollerance or believe he's somehow less of a person because he has emotions. I completely intend to pack up the boy and leave when these comments come out of my fathers mouth... maybe at some point he'll realize he won't get to see his grandson if he can't watch his mouth? And when he's old enough to understand I will let the boy know exactly WHY we're leaving.
It's funny, but Future Daddy and I are surrounded by people - some family, some friends, that have or are doing a spectacularly bad job of raising children. We just tell ourselves that with all of these examples, we won't be able to help but to do better since we now know exactly what NOT to every do!!!
This is both a response to a comment you left on my blog and a comment on this particular post. The comment I received about having another girl that went something like "oh well" was from my very own mother. I think that by recognizing the flaws of our mothers and fathers we are already becoming better parents than our parents were for us. At least, I hope so!
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